- Sir Winston Churchill
Friends and Family,
Today’s entry is a long one because so much happened so grab some coffee and have a read (as my Brit friends would say),
Since the new Lieutenant arrived yesterday, today was the first day we got to go out and show him one of the places we visit out here, about an hour away.
It also marks the last day I will have the guy I’m replacing around. After he leaves tonight, I will “have the football.”
And I will have my own place to myself and will not have to share with anyone I don’t chose to come into my house. Seems that after 20 years of marriage, I don’t share my living accommodations with others nicely. Who knew?
When we got back midday, I ate spaghetti leftovers which I shared with the Lieutenant (Mike). I then took the obligatory nap before getting up and meeting back up with Mike to do our first workout.
Yes, slothdom has ended and I figured we had better start working off some of this fat I’ve seemed to have found since I’ve been here. But Mike is all of 25 so he has a bit of an advantage on me, namely, he can lift more than the bars without crying out like a little schoolgirl.
I have started from scratch plenty of times to know that I need to take it slow and my idea was to start embarrassingly low and just get the shock over with. I know I’m going to be sore so why destroy myself?
On the success meter, I’ll give myself a 7 out of 10. I still kept the weight down but will still not be able to move my chest and triceps tomorrow without the aforementioned crying like a little schoolgirl.
I would give out the advice to “not get old” but that basically translates to “die young” so I’ll just send out a general whine that starting a weightlifting routine bites ass.
In other bad news, I found out that there are different country codes for DVDs and you need an “American” DVD player to play “American” DVDs.
Can you see where I’m going with this?
None of my DVDs work here and if you asked “Why didn’t the guy you’re replacing tell you that before you came?”
Good question.
My answer would be “He had an X-Box that he played all his DVD’s” but in hindsight, that doesn’t cut it because he said he bought most of his DVDs here so they would be Saudi DVD codes which would not work on his X-Box and he would be forced to use the Saudi box that is here.
I don’t know.
All I know is that I need a friggin DVD player now that plays American DVDs or the ones I brought just became expensive coasters.
I went online to AAFES and after waiting for my hair-thin internet connection to play along, I found a Sony player for $49 and free shipping. I’ll probably go with that as soon as I get the green light from the missus.
Update: we were invited over to a Brit’s house (Jamie) for a BBQ and when I mentioned that I was in need of a DVD player, the bloke ran over to a drawer and pulled out one and handed it to me.
This is what these people are like. They’ll give you something and then call you a wanker. Gotta love the Brits.
I asked if it will play American DVDs and his answer was “It’ll play anything, Mate.”
“How much do you want for it?”
“Nothing, I suppose. Just go and enjoy it if you fancy.”
I was so excited my little DVD problem was solved so I took it home when I snuck back to my villa to get a toy car. You see, Jamie has a toddler and I thought the toy car that came in the cereal box I bought would be put to better use with him than me. No comments from the peanut gallery, please.
I was right, the little British tyke lost his mind when I gave it to him.
Way to go, little British kid! (reference?)
The BBQ was wonderful and had many of the same people that were at the poker game but this time, the wives were there and thus, a real meal was served rather than pizza out of a cardboard box.
To start off, there were hamburgers. But that was just an appetizer, as it ends up. Burgers to just start the fun?
Brits are weird.
Then in the span of about ½ hour, I ate about 10 lbs of a variety of meats in the form of kabobs.
There was beef. For the love of all that is pure and good in this world, there was beef.
There was lamb. It wasn’t baaaaaaaaad (I really do make myself laugh)
There was chicken.
Then there were pork ribs which one of the Brits chased the Muslim Indian guy with, in good fun, of course.
Add in the salads (which the guys all informed me was “lesbian food” when I loaded down my plate with it), the potato wedges, and the homemade grape tea and at the end, you have a very full Jason who, because of this debauchery, not only blew his workout clear out of the water but also rethought his volunteerism for tonight soccer match.
Yes, these guys gorged and then went out and played soccer in the heat for 2 hours.
These people are crazier than me and that scares me. BAD.
I thought I was lucky because Roomie had some last minute errands to run around town and he needed someone with him (we can’t drive off the compound alone).
I say “I THOUGHT I was lucky” because while it’s true that I didn’t have to haul Gutasaurus around the soccer pitch until I spewed a shower of meats all over the field, I had to go with Roomie who had waited until the last HOURS before he left to return a cable box and pick up some suits he had ordered.
A number of things conspired to make this a bad trip.
First, he was stressed.
Second, at night it’s like rush hour traffic in Hell’s inner circle since all the Saudis go out shopping at night.
Third: he mistimed it badly and ended up hitting prayer time when EVERYTHING stops and shuts down.
Let me set the scene: he is driving around like a MANIAC in a sea of maniacal drivers. He is pissed off. He gets lost. He finally finds the place on the other side of the street which, to get there, involves a long, traffic-filled process.
We get there and it’s closed and I get to hear his displeasure at all of this.
Then we get to the tailor just in time for prayer so everything is shut down and we have to sit in the car and wait for ½ hour while he continues to describe his general displeasure.
I was not a happy camper at this point.
The only good thing that happened was he finally handed me the work phone and thus the official passing of the baton.
The first thing I did was to change the ringer. If had to hear “Hello MOTO” one more friggin’ time, I was about to hurt somebody.
For the rest of the life-threatening way home, I made my personal preferences on the phone, changing just about everything. Good thing I already had a RAZR so I knew what to do, even though the speed dial function wouldn’t work right. It took a good portion of the way home and the rest of my patience to figure it out, which I never did.
I was never so happy to get out of a vehicle and I know my wife is on the floor laughing right now or at least smiling because I KNOW I’ve made her and the kids feel like this more than a few thousand times and for that, I am eternally sorry. I can’t say it will never happen again but being on the receiving end should curb some of the intensity.
Roomie was leaving in about 45 minutes so he spent that time hurriedly finishing his packing and I, in turn, loaded up the software for the phone on my computer (it came with a disk that loads some tools for the phone, making it easier to personalize).
When it came time for him to go, I opted to stay home because the Captain and the 1stLt were going to drive him to the airport. I graciously thanked him for all the passdown and when he was gone, I would have done the Happy Dance all around the house in my underwear but I had work to do.
Once I started, I couldn’t stop. I was throwing away bag fulls of stuff. I was washing. I was clearing off counters. I was putting stuff in closets, drawers, and cabinets.
I was making beds, I was rearranging furniture, and in general, working myself into a coma until 1:30 in the morning.
I tried to go to bed a dozen times but kept finding stuff to do.
Finally, I knew I had to get a few hours of sleep but at least I would wake up to a pristine kitchen. (Go see the Flick account later)
I guess just a way of bringing me a little closer to what I’m used to. A little closer to home.
FML for Today: “Today, the guy I've been dating for 3 years got engaged to a woman I can't stand. I work as a waiter at a catering company, they hired the company and requested me as a server for their engagement party. FML”
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