I Think We're Alone Now...

Quote of the Day: "Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking."

- Dave Barry

Friends and Family,

Today, Mike and I were on our own for the first time. The outgoing Captain wanted to spend time with his wife before he left back to the states tonight so I let him. It gave me and Mike a chance to go out on our own and get lost on the way to work.

And we did.

Luckily our escorts pulled us out of the traffic fire and got us going in the right direction which here, is no direction. It is simply the worst, most dangerous driving you can imagine. They don’t have such concepts as lanes, taking turns, yielding, or much of any other traffic control procedures. They just GO.

Fast.

And recklessly.

To put it in perspective, I drive aggressively (ask my wife) but I’m the little old lady going to church around here.

In other news, it’s Tuesday here so that means the Tea Room was open. It was Mike’s first time so we drove to the Consulate and went to the hole in the wall where us infidels go to get our tea ration.

Mike got 16 points to start things out, just like I did, and because Roomie’s going away party saw all the Brits decimate my stores, I opted for two more cases using the remainder of my points.

Mike dusted all his points. Like a good Marine Officer.

We clanked all the way back to our villa.

I went over to Jamie the Brit’s house to give him some grape tea Roomie had left for him and the first thing he handed me was a bottle of tea. I said I couldn’t because I was about to work out. They (he and his wonderful Irish wife) made me at least take a Pepsi and some blueberry muffins she had just baked. I tried to refuse but she brought me an aluminum covered package of them. Still warm.



“Take ‘em with you and have a go with ‘em later, mate.”

Mike and I worked out (chest and triceps) and it was horrible. Yesterday marked the full set so all body parts are fully engaged with lactic acid. So this was the first repeat day and an exercise in dealing with constant pain, stiffness, and all around weaklingness. Yes, that’s a word.

After last night’s taco-rama over at Mike’s villa, it was my turn to cook so I decided that chili was the name of the game. A pound of beef, two cans of kidney beans, one can of tomato paste, one can of chopped tomatoes, and a packet of seasoning did the trick and other than playing games with simmering temperature (read: splattered oven), everything went over smoothly.

Well, there was the issue of opening the window to air out the kitchen which started a domino effect I couldn’t have set up with a week of work.

The window hit the tilted cutting board which fell and hit the dishwashing soap which fell and hit the coffee can of olive oil I had standing by to drain the grease. This created a perfect wave of olive oil that jumped out of the can and splattered the side of the shirt I had just changed into.

After a few explicatives, and pulling the pan of beef off the burner while I dealt with this, I stripped the shirt off and threw it in the washer. I grabbed the paper towels to take care of the mess but I discovered there was none. The perfect wave just jumped out and hit my shirt.

Good one, Allah. Is this for the tea thing?

I ended up finishing my first attempt at chili … IN MY LIFE … and it was good. Not like Carrie-good but good nonetheless. Mike ate it all and he’s still alive so that’s a good sign.

Before long, it was time to take the Captain to the airport so he could call this tour done and return to the States after TWO years. Yeah, he got the bonus program and even found himself a wife while he was here. She’s a Malaysian flight attendant, not a Saudi, if you were wondering. Same as Roomie’s so it’s making me wonder if Carrie is going to have to move to Malaysia and start work as a stewardess.

As a final blow, I made the Captain “call us out” which means calling in our departure. They track us every time we leave the compound and we keep them apprised of our location. It was the last time he would have to do it and I laughed as I told him he would be making the call.

We drove him to the airport and said our goodbyes and upon our return, I mentioned to Mike that we had the ball now. It was just the two of us and we were the only two Marine Corps Officers within 785,000 square miles.

Sobering.

FML for Today: “Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML.”